Gray Area Thinking
Members of the Delano community were treated with the gift of practicing grace and compassion under the tutelage of Ellie Krug during her presentation this past spring at Delano High School.
First, we learned how normal, natural and easy it is to group and label people. Boys or girls. White or black. Rich or poor. The trick is not to use the labels to marginalize the other, whatever that other is. We all have so much in common: wanting the children in our lives to succeed, the need to be free of physical or emotional violence, wanting 20 minutes of personal peace, and the need to love and be loved.
The audience moved about the room selecting labels in response to certain questions about their own identity under different circumstances. Some questions were about the identity we got from our birth family, the identity we choose, the identity that challenges us and the identity we want to leave as our legacy.
Then we practiced Gray Area Thinking , first being Aware of human vulnerability or suffering, then Risk-taking to soften or lessen another’s suffering, then acting with Compassion/kindness. What this looks like in practice is stopping to notice when someone is suffering, acknowledging the dignity of the other person, and through our actions showing them that they matter. In our busy lives, we might rush past someone in crisis. Are we willing to take the time to show compassion? Are we willing to be late for our next engagement to be kind to another human being?
Finally, we spent some time processing what it means to be inclusive. Do we simply tolerate a person in our midst or organization? Do we show acceptance, but leave it there? Or do we really dive in and treat the other person like a rock star, sponsoring them into full membership in the organization or group?
We each have many dimensions or labels -- our family ancestry, the religion we practice (or not), the type of work we do, what our family looks like, what organizations we have joined, our socio-economic status, our educational achievement, our gender. In each of these we may be in the majority in our community, or in the minority. Do we want to feel safe in acknowledging that label, or does the perception of others leave us wanting to hide that label? Do we want to be treated with compassion? Will we commit to doing the same for others?
