Jenga and the collapse of civility
Many of us have noticed the trending breakdown of civility in the past several years. Types of behavior that would result in a child being taken aside and reprimanded are now commonplace.
Because children repeat what they hear at home and other places, adults need to look at themselves to see the example we are setting. Name-calling, foul language, and threats of violence are commonplace. It is a daily occurrence among adults everywhere I go. Rather than comments about the actions or policies of an individual or group, the comments target the individuals themselves. We are seeing some of those personal attacks turn into lethal violence.
I’ve been at public events frequently in the last couple of months. A group of young men passed by a booth I staffed at the Wright County Fair and yelled out “F*#king liberals” as they walked by. They might have spent a little too much time at the beer garden before they wandered by. Or they might not have needed any help reducing their inhibitions to behaving badly. Either way, the fair is attended by many families with young children, and families should be able to expect better examples.
Recently I brought the game Jenga to an event and invited those in attendance to participate. For those who haven’t played before, the game consists of rectangular wooden blocks stacked up in a column. Players pull one block at a time out of the column from the lower layers, placing it on the top layer. As the game goes on, the column becomes more and more unstable as the supporting blocks are removed. The game ends when a removal causes the column to collapse. The person who pulled out the last block before the collapse loses the game.
Watching the game play out, I thought about how bullying and other forms of oppressive and mean behavior affect the cohesion of a community. A few people here or there can be a nuisance, but the impact is relatively small when the rest of the members remain united. However, when a growing percentage of members engage in disruptive acts, the connections in the community suffer. At some point, the community collapses. When that happens, everyone loses.
