Nostalgia - It Ain’t what it used to be
How many of us sometimes find ourselves longing for the good old days? The times when life seemed simpler? It is perfectly normal to look back to those days with a sense of nostalgia. Those feelings are often tied to the days and years of our youth. What we may not remember or even realize is the degree to which our parents protected us from the dark side of those times.
I was eight years old in the summer of 1968. Too young to understand the chaos of that summer and the summers previous, with all of the turmoil and upheaval as many who demanded change, having been barred from exercising the freedoms this country prides itself upon. I do remember the assassinations of the Reverend Dr Martin Luther King and Bobby Kennedy, yet in my young mind those tragic events were blended with the deaths of a grandfather and great-grandfather that same year.
When we long for a simpler time, we are likely not aware that the time was not as simple or wonderful as our memories allow us to recall. It is difficult to feel nostalgia for times that came before our birth as we did not directly experience what came before our existence. We may have heard parents or grandparents recalling their early days with the same limited recollections we have for our own.
Of course, things change. While our options grow, those expanded choices in life also bring more complexity. Culture and society are not static or stagnant things. They evolve. People who might have spent all or most of their lives within a few miles of their birthplaces now travel the world. And the world is coming closer and closer to our doorsteps through media and personal interactions. Change is often scary, even change for the better. It is human nature to find comfort in what and who we know.
Several years ago, I was a co-facilitator of a support group for battered women. It was scary for the women to venture into the unknown of leaving their abusive relationships. Time and time again they would vow to leave, only to be stopped by their fear of the unknown. Change is hard. As a survivor myself, I understood. Even visualizing the kind of life we want, the kind of world we want to have, getting there can feel like taking a leap through a ring of fire.
Pining for the good old says, that in reality weren’t really all that good, leaves us stuck. My goal is to embrace the future, with the positive vision in mind. Be open to new people and new things. Take the leap.
